A new curriculum?

I think it’s time that our schools seriously reconsidered the life skills curriculum. When do they ever give you advice on the absolute essentials? For example, consider the situation my friend Kath was faced with last week.

What do you do when your six-year-old walks into the lounge clutching your vibrator, exclaiming: “Hey mom, look at this cool shaker I found. You just twist it around like this.”

Kath’s situation was made even worse by the fact that her status as a vibrator owner was not something her husband knew about.

“Thank my lucky stars that I chose the plain variety, not one of those pseudo penis monstrosities!” she wailed, head in hands, as she offloaded her story onto the sympathetic shoulders of the “parent sex” columnist. (It’s great, my friends just inundate me with their embarrassing stories these days…)

So, matrics of the world, what DO you do in this situation? Do you:
a) blush like mad and grab the offending object from your daughter’s outstretched hand, before running from the room?
b) Yank the offending object from your daughter’s hand and beat her around the head with it, yelling: “What were you doing going through my drawers?”
c) Smile calmly and say, “Oh yes, thanks”, slipping it into your pocket

Like the consummate professional she is, Kath opted for option c. She has spent the last two weeks wondering if her husband noticed or not, and whether or not she wants the “lazy bastard to know that she’s sexually deprived and having to make do” or not. But that, my friends, is a topic for another day…