Getting over abuse

Dear Gabriel
I want my heroine to have had a really tough past. If she was abused (physically or sexually, I haven’t decided yet) could she have mainly got over it and be leading a useful life? I don’t want her to be totally messed up.
Lesley

Dear Lesley
I do think it’s possible for people to get over their past, but it’s all a matter of degrees. In other words, depending on a person’s resilience, resources, access to healing relationships, insight and determination, there will be gradations of success, from those who are still trapped and troubled today, to others who have genuinely risen above adversity.

Of course what is interesting, I believe, to the reader is the distinction between surface and depth. Many people appear to have dealt with past issues, but when under pressure, or at specific times of vulnerability, may crack, and the reader will be able to see that beneath the calmness may be turmoil. Also don’t underestimate the power of denial, where a person may so successfully suppress bad feelings and experiences that it is as if they never happened. What happens when this no longer works as a defence mechanism? This could make for a useful and dramatic turning point!

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