Happy?

Hi Gabriel

I want to write about happiness and what makes people happy. I know that the self help industry is awash with books on this topic but I am interested in a novel which has at its main theme the search for happiness. Do you think happiness is definable and can you say what makes people happy? Oh and is this a tall order?

Thanks

Joel

Hi Joel

Oh not at all – I have the perfect recipe for happiness and I am more than willing to share it with you. And a cure for climate change and AIDS. Not. So, now that we’ve established that I struggle with this stuff like other mortals – no, psychologists have not found the holy grail of happiness – let me share some thoughts with you.

What is happiness, then? Well I don’t believe that it’s the absence of unhappiness, pain, stress or bad stuff. We’re not guaranteed happiness in life and good and bad is part of the rhythm of life, I feel. Maslow’s idea that there is a hierarchy of needs is a useful starting point. He suggested that once our basic needs are fulfilled (food, shelter etc.) other needs emerge and occupy our energies and thoughts, such as the need for love, sex, intimacy and, ultimately, self actualisation. The latter might be defined as a sense of spiritual fulfilment, finding one’s purpose and meaning in life, which we could define as a form of happiness.

One interpretation of Maslow’s hierarchy is that life is a quest for something higher and perhaps more elusive, and complete happiness may never be completely attainable. Or else it suggests that “things” may never satisfy us and that what’s truly fulfilling is affirmation, recognition and reaching our fullest human potential (which of course varies from person to person).

Research on happiness suggests that while poverty is not ennobling, neither is wealth a guarantee of happiness. Rather, it says that as we acquire greater financial stability our happiness rises, but peaks at a certain point, after which it plateaus. In other words, once our basic comforts are met and we’re not caught up in a spiral of fear, despair and worry about where the next meal or rent money is coming from, we feel happier. But happiness does not grow when we have 4 cars instead of 1, and so on.

So if I had to have a stab at it, I’d define happiness not so much as a feeling as a decision. Even poor folk can feel happy if they feel connect to family and community and our richer brothers and sisters may feel happy because they have freedom and time to explore interests and aspirations which really please them. In both cases, sadness and difficulty may be a reality, but the decision to focus on positive things and to find meaning in something higher may be what makes the difference.

So good luck with your novel – I think the tall order is yours not mine!

Cheers

Gabriel

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