Live man sleeping

So you would have to have been in a coma for the last month to have missed the most recent story about comas. The miracle of Rom Houben, diagnosed as being in a vegetative state over 20 years ago, was brought to light in the UK Guardian online. It reported that a US neurologist, Steven Laureys, released him from his imprisonment using a state-of-the-art scanning system, finding that his brain was functioning almost normally. “I had dreamed myself away,” said Houben. “I was only my consciousness and nothing else” he said, adding that he achieved deep states of meditation. I guess counting sheep and fantasising about walking in a field only takes you so far after 20 years. And damn I find a 20 minute meditation hard enough to achieve, so big up to Rom for managing a 20 year one!

During his coma he had heard about the death of his father – even though he felt great sadness he could not communicate this. How do we know what he feels and thinks? No, not through telepathy – though this does sound romantic – he’s learnt to use his foot, connected to a computer and a keyboard, to talk. Talk about putting your foot in it.
Well bad puns apart, isn’t this the most extraordinary story? Apparently though there have been other similar miracles. In 2007 Jan Grzebski, a Polish railway worker, “woke up” from an almost 20 year coma, finding that the iron curtain had fallen and he had gained 11 grandchildren. I’m not sure which I’d find more shocking. Terry Wallis of Arkansas woke up after 19 years to find his wife had gone off with another man – I’ve heard of being conflict avoidant but surely Terry could have just said he wasn’t happy!
In 1996 Patricia White Bull from New Mexico woke after 16 years in a persistent vegetative state, scaring the life out of a nurse who was tucking in her bedding by shouting, “Don’t do that!” Clearly Patricia’s bossy streak hadn’t left her.  And Mark Newton from Hertfordshire fell into a coma in 1996 after surfacing too quickly while diving. Doctors had considered him brain dead and recommended turning off his life support. His mother resisted and he woke up after six months, having been aware of what was happening around him.
Now I don’t want to trivialise comas or downplay the incredible second chances these people have been given, but I know a couple of relationships which should have their life support turned off, and I’ve been in some relationships which either felt like I was in a coma, or I wished I could have voluntarily entered one. What is it about the human condition that we’re willing to sell our souls and endure a dull or stifling relationship rather than be alone?
And don’t these stories make you wonder what is it that defines you as fully human? Never mind dull relationships, predictable sex, or lives of quiet misery, these people had to find a way to not go mad while being stuck with a perfectly aware and functioning mind (which is more than can be said for most of the human race who seem to be sleep walking through their lives). 
Perhaps it’s just me – ok it’s just me – but when I sit in restaurants and look at couples not talking to each other I wonder why they don’t accept it’s over and move on. Oh sure, we should try make it work and all couples have their troubles, blah blah, but for heaven’s sake, we have one life and it should be lived to the full. So I guess if there was to be a message to this blog (sorry!) it would be: don’t wait for a coma to realise how precious life is, and don’t live like you’re in a coma. Get living!