My boss is making inappropriate remarks

Dear Gabriel
My boss has been making inappropriate remarks to me at work. But I find myself strangely excited by the idea (she’s quite old, actually. She must be
at least 35.) I can’t get her out of my head. I know it would be a mistake, but it seems to happen all the time so it can’t be that bad.
Simone

Dear Simone
The most disturbing aspect of your letter is that you see 35 as old!

Having got that off my chest, let me address the issue of sex with your boss. Bottom line, this is never a good idea, never. Yes we all know the casting couch has been the route to stardom for many a Hollywood wannabe, and many a CEO has married the secretary, but it’s often a recipe for heartache and disaster.

She is abusing her position by making these remarks – what if you turn her down and she gets angry and fires you? Sure, you can invoke the law but it’s messy and complicated and often hard to prove. What if you end up in bed and the next day you’re in the boardroom (assuming you weren’t having sex in the boardroom which is another big no no)? How do you maintain a professional working relationship in these circumstances?

My advice is that you nip this in the bud, simply ignore the remarks, limit your time together if possible, invent and talk often about a lover and, if necessary, look for another job. Boundaries are there for a reason – they give our lives order and safety. And, alas, more boredom, which I suspect bothers you. If so, look at this issue with a counsellor.