Nothing wrong with internet dating

Dear Gabriel,

Don’t ask me why, but my friend and I went on a dating site the other night. Blame the tequilas, I suppose. Bit sad, don’t you think? 2 (fairly) attractive girls in their late 20s. It’s not like we never, ever have a date, but then again, there we were on a Saturday night googling old boyfriends instead of being out.

Anyway, so I started writing to some guy who was on line. And (the tequilas, remember!) I got a bit flirty with him. Well, my friend says more than a little flirty. And (am I mad or what?) I gave him my email address. But he’s been writing to me since then and I think I quite like him. He’s asked for us to meet. Now I’m dead scared. Will he think I’m a dead cert because I got a bit flirty? My friend says I’m crazy to meet him. And where do you meet? And how do you know he’s not a serial killer?

Len

Dear Len

You’re not crazy to meet him, meet him in a public space and ask him if he’s a serial killer. As ice breakers go, that one is sure to work as a conversation starter.

Let me be clear – there is nothing wrong with internet dating (I’ve done it myself if the truth be told) and millions of people around the globe are doing it. Of course not all of them are finding true love so some words of caution are needed.

See this as a way of spreading your possibilities but don’t expect miracles. People do sometimes misrepresent themselves and no amount of e-mailing and texting can make up for a face-to-face meeting, where you get the opportunity to test out chemistry and attraction. See the build-up as a fun way of doing some weeding out of the needy, depressed and plain anti-social and let the first meeting be a casual and friendly meeting in a safe and public space. If necessary make it time bound – say you can meet for a drink for an hour – and let the rest unfold as it will.