On how to detox – or an excuse to spend the weekend giving and getting massages.

When those first heady months settle into something resembling a more permanent relationship, it’s time to take stock. Not only of the state of the relationship but of the state of your body.

My guess is that things have got a little out of hand, that there are a couple of extra kilos attached to the hips and that in the interests of lasting attraction a detox weekend is in order – for both of you, together. Set aside the whole weekend – from Friday evening to Monday morning. It’s not going to be difficult, you are going to lie low and it’s going to be romantic and fun with lots of massages and food, that believe it or not, is delicious.

The whole point of the weekend is to
♥ eat nutritious foods
♥ lose a kilo or two
♥ gain a good habit or two, (even if it is only the lemon and linseed water habit)
♥ re-invigorate yourself and your love life and
♥ relax. 

The only thing you’re going to resent this weekend is the number of times you have to wash the blender and the juicer. My advice though is to do it immediately and quickly.

Once again you need to get to the shops. This time round, you’re not going to be shopping at gorgeous gourmet delis but at the health shop and the organic greengrocer. You have to do all the shopping in advance because you won’t be going anywhere at all for the entire weekend.

Here’s your schedule:

Friday pm

Get home, unpack the shopping, unplug/switch off all phones, put on some romantic music, put flowers or even just leaves from the garden in vases and light candles all over the house.

When your lover arrives make a big pot of herbal tea. If I want to start the weekend off in a truly romantic way I make a white tea with rose petals from Marriage Frères. It is the most expensive tea I have ever bought and although I hesitate to say it, I was ashamed of having spent that amount of money on such a small quantity of tea. If for some reason you happen not to have this tea on hand then go for a red fruit tea, hibiscus tea or an exotic spicy cinnamon mix.

Run a very full bath and add a selection of aphrodisiac essential oils like neroli or ylang ylang. Languish in the bath together for as long as possible, drinking tea and eating a bowl of fresh berries.

Then get out and put on something very comfortable and watch a romantic movie perhaps. Something languorous and sexy: Pretty Women’s one possibility. Or Sleepless in Seattle. Or When Harry Met Sally. Or even one of Hugh Grant’s lightweight romances (if you can stand his standard, “Who, me?” grin.) If you want to venture further into vintage romance, then try the quite wonderful It Happened One Night, or the equally charming Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

Supper is a yoghurt, cucumber and mint soup. This is very simple. Pour about 300mls of plain yoghurt into a blender. Add one coarsely chopped cucumber, skin and all, plus a handful of fresh mint leaves, a clove of garlic, the juice of a lemon and a few drops of Tabasco. Blend together very well and pour into bowls.

Take a pot of relaxing chamomile tea to bed with you.

Saturday

Get up at dawn and drink a mug of lemon water. Boil some water and add a slice of lemon and a little squeeze of juice. While you’re making that, fill two large glasses with filtered water and added a couple of teaspoons of linseeds. Go for a nice long walk around your neighbourhood before anyone else is up and revel in the beauty of the early morning.

When you get back drink the linseed water and have a shower together. Give each other an invigorating salt scrub. You can make the scrub yourself. All you need is a packet of coarse salt, a couple of tablespoons of sweet almond oil, 6 drops of geranium oil and perhaps a few drops of peppermint oil. Mix it all together adding more sweet almond oil if needed. This should be more than enough for today and tomorrow.

Now you can lie around reading poetry (or that sexiest of all First World War novels, Birdsong, by Sebastian Faulks. Help yourselves from a bowl of seasonal fruit – mixed berries or a tropical mix of mango, banana, papaya, granadilla or maybe some blocks of crisp watermelon.

After an hour or two of reading put on some music and make a pot of herb tea, this time maybe something cleansing like nettle, fennel or ginger and nibble on a bowl of raw almonds.

While drinking the tea make a vegetable smoothie which you can sip while watching another romantic comedy. To make the vegetable smoothie, juice eight carrots, one beetroot, a bulb of fennel and a couple of apples. Pour that into a blender and add two avocados, a few blocks of ice, the juice of a lemon and a handful of fresh basil leaves. Blend very well adding more lemon juice and basil if necessary. Serve in a tall glass.

Lunch
Green salad with a mix of sesame, pumpkin, sunflower and linseeds and grilled fish with lemon juice and olive oil.

Spend the afternoon perfecting your massage skills using some of the aphrodisiac essential oils.  Make another pot of tea to sip after the massages.

Supper
Miso soup. Boil together about a litre of water with a two inch knob of ginger, sliced for about ten minutes. Add some torn wakame and after a couple of minutes add about twelve sliced shiitake mushrooms, a finely chopped or sliced carrot, a handful of snow peas and a couple of finely sliced spring onions. Boil for a minute or two. Mix about four tablespoons of miso paste with a half a cup of the broth and return to the pot. Heat just to boiling point and serve immediately.

And once again your bedtime drink will be a pot of chamomile tea.

Sunday

Sleep as late as you like. On waking drink a mug of hot lemon water in bed. Again prepare the linseed water.

Start the day with an invigorating shower giving each other salt scrubs again.

Drink the linseed water now while preparing a bowl of fruit. Try to do something different, maybe some mixed, sliced citrus fruits or big wedges of melon.

Spend the morning listening to one of the most romantic of operas ever written, La Boheme. Read the libretto too. Between acts make a juice with a whole pineapple or two if they are small, a big knob of ginger and a bunch of celery.

Lunch.
Quinoa, seaweed, avocado hand rolls. Bring a cup of quinoa and two cups of water to the boil. Turn down the heat and cook very gently until all the water has been absorbed. When it is cooked add the juice of a lemon or two and a couple of tablespoons of good olive oil. Toss together well.  Tear some sheets of nori in half and form cone shaped packages in your hand, a la Japanese hand rolls, and fill with the quinoa and sliced avocado.

Relaxing massages. This time use a slightly different blend of essential oils. Try chamomile, lavender, clary sage or sandalwood.

Take a dusk walk around your neighbourhood and enjoy the different perspective you get in the fading light.

Supper - Berry smoothie and a romantic movie. To make the smoothie juice three or four apples. Pour the juice into a blender and add a packet of frozen mixed berries. Or you can make a yoghurt and berry smoothie. Pour 300 mls of organic yoghurt in the blender and add the packet of frozen mixed berries. Blend well.

And because you probably don’t want the weekend to end I think now is the time for one last massage using a mix of chamomile and lavender oil. That should make you sleep very well and wake up relaxed and ready to tackle the week ahead.

Monday morning

Lemon water in bed followed by soaked linseeds, a bowl of fruit and a super nutritious vegetable juice.

Although this will end the weekend on a somewhat unromantic note, now is the time to have a hectic powerhouse of a juice. Juice together a bunch of celery, a fennel bulb, a large knob of ginger, a couple of spinach leaves, a beetroot and a couple of carrots. If you like you can add a tomato or even a sweet potato. This is the type of juice I think you should drink most days, at anytime of the day, it needn’t be in the morning and in my opinion it can replace a meal. You can vary it enormously. If you experiment you will end up with a few firm favourites and soon find you even get withdrawal symptoms if you don’t have one of these juices regularly.

Note on juicing: When it comes to peeling for juices, either fruit or vegetables, don’t, except for pineapples and even then don’t go to too much trouble. Try to buy organic and just give things a wash and a light scrub if they are sandy. Do however buy the best, most powerful and easiest to clean juicer that you can afford. And throw all the pulp onto the compost heap.