Should I phone him?

Dear Gabriel,

I met this guy at a party the other night. We hooked up and I really thought we had a connection. We ended up kissing (and a little more) in the car afterwards. He promised to phone and put my number in his cell phone. But since then I haven’t heard. Should I phone him? I feel a bit embarrassed about it. I don’t want him to think I’m a slut who makes out with everyone and it didn’t mean anything. But if I phone, maybe he’ll think I’m forward.

Jude

Dear Jude

You wonder if phoning would be forward but you made out with a complete stranger the night you met him. Um, is it just me or is there a contradiction here? You see, if you wanted him to see you as a demure, ladylike someone, then making out is probably not the way to go. My view is that you were upfront that you liked him that night, phoning him just confirms what he already knows. This is not about being a slut, it’s about being honest and consistent. But, and it’s a big but, he has not phoned. This is probably a good sign that, for him, the evening was a bit of fun and that taking your number was the polite thing to do after feeling someone up for a few hours. Give yourself a deadline – if he hasn’t phoned, then call him and be straightforward about your feelings. Who knows, he may have developed a rare and temporary loss of speech and will be thrilled that you called.