Show, Don’t Tell and how to use detail effectively

His desk was bare, but for a human skull, with a cigar clamped firmly between its grinning teeth.

Immediately, we know a huge amount about this person, without anything having to be explained.

By now, the concept of “showing” rather than “telling” is pretty much accepted. But in numerous writing workshops, it’s become clear that people may accept the concept, but they’re often unsure how to to put it into practice.

Basically, instead of explaining something about someone – he was angry, she was beautiful - you’re going to show us these things. What we’re always trying to avoid, in good writing, is to bring something into sharp focus without having spell it out in long reams of exposition.

There are several ways you can do this. Here’s a small reference guide to what can be used to “show” things to readers, rather than “telling” them what they should know.

• Dialogue – the things people say, and the way they say them.
What people say – about themselves, other people, and places, says a lot about them. They way they speak does too. What kind of words do they use? What is the tone of their speech – and perhaps more importantly: what do they not say?

• The reactions of others to our characters.
How do people respond … to the powerful man, the beautiful woman. Do they inspire fear, reverence, fawning attention? Are they ignored in company?

• Introspection – our characters’ thoughts on other characters, or their setting.
Do they react jealously to others. Do they hate the outdoors? Are they too hot on the beach or miserable in snow? Are they totally at home in a small flat with 16 cats? Would the mere thought of a small flat or one cat bring on a fit of sneezing claustrophobia?

• Sensory images.
Showing involves the senses, rather than just knowing something in your head. You know that he’s nervous. But you show us the sweat beading at his hairline and dripping to his collar. You hear his fingers drumming. You feel his legs jumping. You smell the acrid stench of him.

• Specific actions.
The way people behave tells us not only what kind of people they are, but also how they’re feeling at a specific time. Show us the robust affection in a family through the teasing insults they exchange and the laughter at the table.

Show us she’s feeling sad: She opened his drawer and took out his old blue shirt, the one he used to wear to potter about the house.She brought it to her face and breathed in his smell.

• Small, telling details.
This article began with one of these. Find the right specific and everything else springs into place. If someone is slowly going insane with post-partum depression, show us a plate, covered in tomato sauce, perched on a pile of dirty sheets. And a woman with jeans on, but on her upper body, a pyjama top. 

• The contrast of other characters.
The troubled teen – does he have friends? Does he behave and speak and dress differently from the other kids?

It never harms to think more visually. That doesn’t mean never including inner thoughts or short explanations.

But the more you learn to use detail effectively, the more powerful your writing will be.

For more information on detail, join our Writers’ Circle Course in Johannesburg or sign up for one of our online writing courses.

Jo-Anne Richards is the author of four novels. Her latest is My Brother’s Book, published by Picador. Order it from Kalahari.net

Her first novel, The Innocence of Roast Chicken, was published by Headline in London, shortlisted for the M-Net Book Prize and nominated for the Impac International Dublin Award. The book was chosen as a Dillon’s Debut in the UK, to be showcased as “an outstanding first novel”. She has published short stories in five collections.

Jo-Anne lectures in journalism and writing skills at Wits University, besides running workshops in literary skills, narrative journalism and Romance writing. She supervises Masters students in the Creative Writing Masters programme at Wits.

She is co-founder of allaboutlove.net, a website dedicated to good reading and writing. The site publishes novels and short stories, and runs interactive online writing courses in romance writing. It includes a basic lesbian romance writing course – thought to be unique.