The Cute Meet
Here is the first scene of the romantic arc drawn from The Parks, in which Blair meets Track – presented in television script formatting:
ACT 1 SCENE 3
EXT. PARK - MORNING
(DOG ENTHUSIAST, RANDOM, BREEZE, TYLER)
(10:00)
A GROUP OF DOG ENTHUSIASTS HAS GATHERED TO PROTEST THE IMMINENT CLOSURE OF HALF THE PARK TO DOG-OWNERS. AMONG THEM, WITH HER DOG, BONZO, A GOLDEN SPANIEL, ON A LEASH, IS BREEZE. A MILITANT IS HOLDING FORTH SOMEWHAT PIERCINGLY. A FEW PEOPLE ARE CARRYING PLACARDS INSCRIBED WITH SUCH SENTIMENTS AS: *DOGS ARE PEOPLE TOO!* AND *LET THE PARKS GO TO THE DOGS—PLEASE!*, ETC.
DOG ENTHUSIAST ...
And so we condemn the unilateral, totally undemocratic decision by the Parks Committee of the City Council to divide the park in two!
THE LITTLE CROWD SUPPORTS THESE SENTIMENTS WITH A RAGGED CHORUS OF “HEAR HEARS”.
DOG ENTHUSIAST (cont’d)
Does anyone have anything to add?
RANDOM DOG LOVER
(SHRILL)
But what do we do about it?
MURMURS OF AGREEMENT RISE FROM THE CROWD—WHAT IS TO BE DONE? THEN BREEZE STEPS FORWARD.
BREEZE
(TENTATIVE, REASONABLE)
Don’t you think that we have legal recourse? I mean, the park was a bequest from one of the original inhabitants of these suburbs, wasn’t it? I’m sure that he specified exactly what use it should be put to…
FROM THE BACK OF THE CROWD, SOMEONE BREEZE CAN’T QUITE SEE, AN AGGRESSIVE MALE VOICE RAISED SARDONICALLY:
TYLER
We shouldn’t be namby-pamby and predictable!
HEAR-HEARS FROM THE CROWD.
BREEZE
It’s just that if the wording of the original founding document…
TYLER
(OVERLAPPING)
Bugger the wording of the founding document! We need to tell the council that we’re angry and we demand that they overturn this ridiculous decision!
BREEZE
(IRRITATED, SARCASTIC)
And how do you suggest we get them to do that?
TYLER
By occupying the no-go area in the park with our dogs!
THE CROWD IS GETTING WHIPPED UP BY THIS STRONG TALK.
TYLER (cont’d)
By organising e-mails to the council members on the sub-committee! And if they don’t respond, we can Fed-Ex them surprise packages full of what our dogs do best!
LAUGHTER NOW.
BREEZE
Well, I think that’s all very… melodramatic, but we all know how this particular council will respond to getting little boxes full of doggy doo-doos…
TYLER
Go barking mad, I suppose?
(MORE LAUGHTER)
But the lady has a point. Perhaps we should take the legal route first and only resort to militant action if that doesn’t work…
DOG ENTHUSIAST
Right, what I suggest is that some of us constitute ourselves as an action committee…
AND WHILE SHE BURBLES ON, TYLER THREADS HIS WAY THROUGH THE CROWD TOWARDS BREEZE. HE HAS A PARTICULARLY BEAUTIFUL RED SETTER ON A LEASH.
TYLER
Hi. I’m Track Barron. Sorry about that.
BREEZE
(COOL)
That really was a ridiculous idea, you know.
TYLER
Got them worked up, didn’t it?
BREEZE
You think that was the purpose of the meeting? To work people up?
TYLER
Well, I’d say unless you get people worked up, they’re not going to do anything at all. First get their adrenaline flowing, then form the committees.
BREEZE
I suppose that makes some sense.
RELENTING)
I’m Breeze Fairchild.
TYLER
And you’re a lawyer?
BREEZE
That obvious, huh?
TYLER
Lovely dog.
BREEZE
So’s yours. What’s his name?
SHE BENDS DOWN TO PET THE RED SETTER.
TYLER
Um. Rover.
BREEZE
Rover?
TYLER
Name of my first dog. Sorry. Bit lame, I know. And yours?
BREEZE
Paul.
TYLER
Paul?
BREEZE
You saw the sign: dogs are people, too, you know.
TYLER
Ah… I don’t suppose you’d care to have a cappuccino with me? We can compare notes.
BREEZE
Notes about what?
TYLER
Oh. I don’t know. Dogs. Our love thereof. Philosophical questions regarding the purpose of dogs and the nature of dogginess..
BREEZE
So basically, you’re using our dogs to pick me up?
TYLER
(INNOCENT AS THE DAY IS LONG)
Oh, isn’t that what dogs are for?
BREEZE BURSTS OUT LAUGHING, UTTERLY CHARMED.
END OF SCENE 3
Well? What do you think? Pretty nifty, I thought. (I particularly liked his dog, “Rover”. He borrowed it from a friend for the afternoon, forgot its name, and used the first one that sprang to mind when she asked.) I felt impelled to work out all the other scenes of this soap arc… But then felt that this was getting ahead of myself. I think I’ll be able to use this scene, as it stands (because it stands apart from the narrative of the novel, as I’ve said) – but I really do think I need to start thinking about my story.
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