The more we change the more we stay the same

Hi there Gabriel

Ok so my character, Sybil, has reached, in her middle years, a point of disillusionment and disappointment with her life (failed marriage, no love on the horizon, she’s childless). I’m wondering if it’s necessary to try and build in a transformative, aha, experience so that the reader will go on a journey of discovery and change with her. Or is it more realistic that, at her age, she’s likely to remain her rather jaundiced self? And is that so bad?

Best

Angela

Hi Angela

For me your question raises the issue of whether we have epiphanies which utterly transform us, almost instantly, or whether we remain fundamentally ourselves as we putter along to old age. Personally, I think completely life changing epiphanies are pretty rare and it’s more common that change and growth are incremental. I also sometimes think that negative experiences (loss, crime, a destructive relationship) can bring about quicker and deeper change because they so deeply disrupt what was familiar to us. Of course positive experiences can be important too but I don’t believe they change us overnight.

I guess a useful aspect to your question is the matter of what holds a reader’s attention. Will they hate that Sybil plods along from one disappointment to another or will they find a curious comfort in seeing that she too, like them, is not that exceptional? For me it depends on how you write the everydayness of Sybil’s life – insight, warmth and compassion for your character will come through to the reader as they connect with her daily reality.

So for me it’s not so bad that she remains jaundiced and wary. Readers might be put off by an unrealistic and Pollyanna-ish jump in her life. But what might intrigue them is not so much a dramatic change but a subtle unpeeling of her cynicism to reveal self awareness and self acceptance. Not exactly Barbara Cartland, her royal pinkness, I know, but grounded in the real world.   

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