The Principles Involved In Old-Fashioned Courtship

Regency romances usually feature dashing gentlemen and beautiful ladies. A well-worn plot theme is the worldly-wise Man About Town, who meets a virtuous young lady, who then proceeds to tame him. The courtship is the part of the relationship that is focused on in a Regency romance, as this is the time when the heroine carefully assesses a man’s character to determine whether he is good husband material.

In Regency romances, it is during the courtship that the hero usually adapts and changes to try and please the heroine. Usually the Man About Town/Worldly-Wise Hero changes his roguish ways in order to win over one special lady who intrigues him. But why does he change? What is it about the heroine that reaches through his defences and captures his heart?

I would say that it is probably her unique brand of femininity, to a large degree. Femininity softens a man like nothing else can. The hero grows to respect and then to love the heroine if she “conquers” him by winning his devotion before he “conquers” her for sex after they are married.

The hero’s devotion often stems from spending a lot of time pursuing the one lady who eludes him. A lady brings out the gentleman in a man, and he becomes devoted to the one unusual woman who can inspire him, and touch his heart. How does this happen precisely? Well, I would surmise that if the hero has to work very hard for a woman in order to “conquer” her, he will respect her. Men value what they have to work for, and what they put their energy and effort into. If they realise they cannot win the heroine over easily, they will then adapt to suit her.

This is why Regency romances are so charming. Courtships take place in very strict parameters which are there to protect a woman’s virtue. This adds to the romantic tension in the novel as the hero and heroine are forced to suppress their physical desire for each other, and rather get to know one another on an emotional and mental level. The only time a man could ever hold a woman in his arms without being scandalously inappropriate in the Regency period was during the waltz – the daring dance that allowed a man to twirl a lady around a ballroom, in full view of all their acquaintances. So many Regency romances utilise this dance to build romantic and sexual tension between the hero and heroine. The intimacy of the embrace of the waltz leads naturally to romance and creates a perfect environment for flirtations to blossom.

Modern women would do well to take a few hints from the heroines of Regency romances and realise the importance of a good courtship, as it is a woman’s behaviour during courtship that plays a large part in shaping her future with a man.