Updatophobia

Can we suffer from update overload? A recent online discussion thread debated the merits of Facebook, with a newbie wondering what all the fuss was about as he had no interest in connecting with people from his school days and “why don’t we just e-mail each other instead of logging onto Facebook”? Didn’t like them then, sure don’t like them now. Others weighed in and extolled the virtues of being able to reconnect with old friends, network with a thousand of their closest friends and stay in touch with their friendship diaspora, scattered to the four corners of the globe. There was an earnest, proselytising tone to their posting, a tone reminiscent of the televangelist.

By the way do televangelists still ply their trade? The golly gosh glossy, neat, perky Joyce Meyer seems to still pop up in a million smiling advertisements so I guess there is still a buck to be made here (oh I googled Joyce to check the spelling of her name and the Google suggestion list offered me “Joyce Meyer ministries” but perhaps “Joyce Meyer mini-series” might have been more apt).

But I digress, as is the nature of this blogging beast. As I’ve become more addicted to Facebook – a good friend reminded me (as good friends do when they offer unsolicited advice) that I’d once dissed Facebook as pointless – I’ve found myself drawn to the regular updates of friends and acquaintances. And what a rich smorgasbord of options I have in responding to these: I can give my thumbs up (interpretation: too lazy to write something but enough time to click the mouse); send a quick response (which newbies discover can be read by everyone else – oops) or you can send a private message to the person when you want to be discreet. Uh duh, what’s the point of using an open communication medium like FB (us regulars do this shorthand thing you see) if you’re going to send a private message? Oh and just in case you get carried away and realise you’ve sent the FB version of a booty call message, you can recall it. Now that’s handy.

But people’s updates are so weird sometimes. Occasionally they are so cryptic that there’s a flurry of activity from concerned friends wondering if the person had accidentally mixed a pack of hallucinogenics into the morning smoothie. Others post a meaningful quote – there seems to be a subtext here about obscure erudition – and we are left to marvel either at their wit and wisdom or realise that they simply copied and pasted it from somewhere else. An émigré friend, who shall remain nameless, regularly tells us that she now lives in the best city in the world. There is no doubt, no debate, no uncertainty. On the one hand I admire her enthusiasm for her newfound home but on the other, isn’t it a tad smug? Perhaps she needs to convince herself she made the right choice to go. 

And then there’s the group of people who tell us about the minutiae of their day, AS IT HAPPENS! (Note to self: write about people who do their updates in caps.) Do we really need “about to go to gym”, “at gym”, “had a great workout”, “got skinny latte at coffee shop”, “sitting at desk”? Thanks for this Tom, but what purpose does this serve? I mean diarists of old pondered about social movements, today FB’ers witter on about every bowel movement.

And please, please don’t get me started on this whole Farmville thing (and the other obscure virtual worlds) – why do seemingly sane and intelligent people do this stuff? Still, some judicious editing on my FB homepage allows me to hide Farmville et al. Oh the power of the editor. Such a joy to banish this crap to some virtual twilight zone.

Look I know I have choices, and I exercise them, but really people, isn’t there better stuff to do than create what are mostly pretty limp musings? Evidently not, and I thank you if you’ve read this blog – my limp musing has kept me entertained thank you very much.