Columns: Tag – Psychologist
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Luke's World
Never tell the truth
One of the ten commandments of internet dating is THOU SHALT NOT TELL THE TRUTH. Of course, I only discovered this a few weeks into my first foray. I had decided upfront that I was going to be honest. Surely, I thought, if a connection starts off on a lie, where else can it go but downhill?
Luke's World
Fooled by a floozy
The first time I went onto gaydar I got a flood of responses. Okay I made that up. A gentle surge would be more accurate. Flushed with slightly embarrassed pride, I spent a happy few hours sifting through my haul.
Luke's World
Narcissus of the internet
A dating profile is a mysterious thing. Mostly an outline, like a tracing of the real thing, it is often vague and always partial. Occasionally, though, it acts like a projective test, the profiler unwittingly revealing a lot more than he imagines.
Luke's World
As I wake up next to Rashad. Or is it Raveen?
To meet or not to meet, that is the question. Or at least that’s the question I ask my fellow internet daters. The advice given on a lot of sites suggests you don’t give out your phone number immediately. They encourage you to get to know someone and to meet in a neutral place on the first date.
Luke's World
Hard-ons and log-ons
Oh and all the second guessing that goes with this! What did I say about myself that could possibly be putting people off? Maybe they just don’t know quality when it slaps them in the face. Would a studio photograph help? Perhaps I should just tweak my profile.
Writing Quips and Tips
Getting the Love You Want Couple Workshop
Johanri Englebrecht, Allaboutlove’s Virtual Therapist is holding an inspiring, practical two-day couple workshop in Johannesburg. The workshop will be held on the 22nd and 23 of November and is filled with insight, information and communication skills.
Every committed relationship, no matter how strong, has its frustrations, and these most commonly present as stemming from “a lack of communication skills” that lead to disconnection and conflict between life partners.
Characters on the Couch
Is my character a psychopath or a sociopath?
Dear Gabriel
I’m writing a crime novel (with a strong love theme.) I’m a little confused between the terms psychopath and sociopath. Could you give me the quick version please?
Samantha
Characters on the Couch
Breaking relationship patterns for a character
Dear Gabriel
What makes some people choose exactly the same kind of disastrous person over and over again? I’ve got a character who I want to break out of a pattern like this. But I think I should understand what would make her do this, before I can understand how to get her out of it. For example, she chooses men who are controlling, shout at her and tell her she’s stupid.
Andrea
Characters on the Couch
Do people just fall out of love?
I read a book where a man woke up and told his wife he did not love her anymore. Is this believable in a character?
Characters on the Couch
Parents as role models for relationships?
When we fall in love do we usually choose someone just like our parents or is it more complicated than that?
Characters on the Couch
Getting over abuse
Can my character get over abuse and lead a useful life?
Characters on the Couch
“Truths” about suicide
How do I write respectfully about suicide?
Luke's World
Making it “write”
Is writing a form of therapy?
Characters on the Couch
Making it work
Can one person’s determination save a relationship?
Luke's World
Labels anyone?
Why are we, gay men included, so obsessed by what a “real” man is?
Characters on the Couch
Juliette and her Romeos
How is it possible that a woman can appear to have good self esteem and yet be messed around by men?
Luke's World
Ways of leaving
Is there a good or bad way to end a relationship and can a letter ever be ok?
Luke's World
Streching a point
As stars die, their stretched, plastic surgery skins, remain fixed in our memories
Luke's World
All about love, and hate and fear and ………
I love the idea of relationships, hate the notion of suburbia, and fear the death of my independence