Columns: Tag – Relationships
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Virtual Therapy
Imago Relationship Therapy
Relationships can be deadly. No-one teaches us how to get through them whole and happy. We charge in and battle it out, each of us thinking we’re right.
All About Love Official Blog
Happy Valentine’s Day! Allaboutlove has launched.
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We’re dedicated to nurturing and publishing writers. But good writers need the best readers, so we’ve packed the site with features about love and relationships, that we hope you’ll enjoy. We’ll update them regularly. This is a community, so please comment on any or all of them.
All About Love Official Blog
In Search of a Sensitive Man
Allaboutlove is constantly on the look-out for good column material for you, our beloved readers. Our assiduousness in this regard is confirmed yet again by the following correspondence with a world-renowned columnist.
*Please note: his name has been changed since we absolutely refuse to give him the slightest recognition until he has accepted our extremely reasonable conditions.
Anything but a Love Story
My “official” boyfriend
Instead of four heads at the table – my mother, sister, niece and nephew – there were five.
I groaned audibly. Jeffrey.
Maman had clearly decided it was appropriate to invite Jeffrey for brunch. Who is Jeffrey, I hear you ask? Good question. Jeffrey is my “official” boyfriend. Well, at least that’s what he thought he was. And more to the calamitous point, that’s what my mother thought he was.
A Lipstick Lesbian on the Prowl in London
The One
Warning: This story ends in heartbreak. If you’ve just come out of a break-up, save this for another day. Or do read it and you can tell me your story and we can cry together. If you’re falling in love, stop reading now, I’ll only depress you and you’ll have your turn soon enough. And if you’re single and alone, this’ll show you why you’re better off that way.
Virtual Therapy
Meanings and misunderstandings
Dear Jo
I was very interested in what you told Phil about the Tiger and the Turtle. My husband and I are so familiar with the steps of that dance, because we’re constantly using it. Towards the end, you said we should make sure we really hear what our partner is saying – that is so true. My husband often thinks I’ve said the complete opposite to what I’ve actually said.
Virtual Therapy
When romantic love turns into a power struggle
Dear Jo
I’m feeling so upset. It feels like my partner has tricked me. He used to be so loving and caring when we first met, but since our engagement a couple of months ago, he’s changed completely. We’re constantly fighting about the smallest things, and he doesn’t want to spend time with me anymore.
Anything but a Love Story
Tequila and Comfort
I hate anxiety.
I sat outside Matt’s block of flats in my car, briefly drummed my fingers against the steering wheel and then did a little square breathing.
Love Bites
On what to eat when disappointed in love
That inevitable day has come. It’s over. He’s gone for good. You haven’t yet got to the point at which you’re able to think about picking up the pieces and moving on. You need to indulge and wallow. In my opinion there is only one food suitable for this most miserable of times: chocolate.
Anything but a Love Story
A tequila tea-party
I peered into Matt’s cupboard to see if he had anything reasonably comfortable for me to borrow. Tomorrow was the first day of registration and I had failed to think ahead when I ran out of the house in the morning.
Virtual Therapy
Love and apologies
Dear Jo,
Please tell me what to do. I know that I did some things in the past that really hurt my partner. However, I have said “sorry” so many times but she still can’t forgive me.
Your Gay Best Friend
How can I stop myself?
Dear Gabriel
I broke up with my boyfriend three months ago but I still have powerful feelings for him. The trouble is, when he comes knocking at my door I sleep with him.
Your Gay Best Friend
Betrayal
Dear Gabriel
I never used to be jealous of my partner until she betrayed me. In fact I used to enjoy the fact that other women found her attractive.
Your Gay Best Friend
Are secrets okay in intimate relationships?
Dear Gabriel
I have kept a secret from my lover. If you don’t reveal everything in an intimate relationship, does that pose a danger to the relationship?
The Greatest Contraceptive in the World
Doing the Dirty
We’ve all heard the stories about those poor unfortunate souls who walked in on their parents doing the dirty, and were scarred for life.
We really don’t like to acknowledge that our parents had sex – at least not more than the amount of times it took to make us and all our siblings. Good, old fashioned procreation – but not, God forbid, recreation!
Your Gay Best Friend
Oh come on Rochelle, you’re a contortionist
Dear Gabriel
Three years ago I met a wonderful man. He said he couldn’t do relationships, but I could tell he loved me. My friends don’t really understand this (because they didn’t see him), but I could tell from the way he looked at me and reached out to touch my arm.I knew that, given time, he would get over his commitment problems (he’d just got divorced). I have gone through periods of great anguish wondering if he’s serious. He goes long periods with no contact - I think he just finds it too hard.
But then, I’ll be hugely reassured when, after we meet at a get-together of friends or at a party, we sleep together. Admittedly not often.
(Actually only three times.)
All About Love Official Blog
Why Our Virtual Therapist is a Woman
Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here. The other day, I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t driven more than a mile down the road when the engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in our bedroom with the neighbour’s daughter. I am 32, my husband is 34, and the neighbour’s daughter is 22. We have been married for ten years.
Virtual Therapy
I’m scared of losing them both
Dear Jo,
Eighteen months ago, our two-year-old tragically drowned in a pond. Mark, my husband, refused to talk about it and it’s got so bad that I feel shy to even bring up Jason’s name. I want to talk about him all the time. What it means is that Mark and I avoid each other and hardly talk about anything at all. I’m scared this could be the end of our relationship, and then I’ll have lost them both.
Sally
Your Gay Best Friend
How long should you go out with someone before sleeping with them?
Dear Gabriel
How long should you go out with someone before sleeping with them? My boyfriend says that, if you accept a second date, you’ve actually accepted
that you’re going to sleep together. Otherwise you shouldn’t say yes. We’ve gone out twice now. What do you think?
Angela
Virtual Therapy
Why do we deal with loss differently?
Dear Jo,
I read your response to Sally in your last column. It also helped me a lot. My husband and I divorced after we suffered a loss. I was relieved to see that I wasn’t alone, and that I didn’t fail in some way.I was just interested to know why we sometimes respond to grief in such different ways. I think it’ll help me understand why my husband and I were pulled apart rather than together. I think that will help me come to terms with what ended up being a double loss.
Birgit
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